FromAshes
A weekly letter on grief, healing, growth and finding meaning in a changing world.
FromAshes is a weekly letter exploring the intersection of grief and modern life. Born from my own experiences with profound personal loss, this space is meant to convey stories, reflections and questions about what it means to heal - especially in a world increasingly shaped by AI, automation and human disconnection.
I will explore how we can stay ‘human’ in a world that often feels like it is running further away from the soul. Whether you are mourning a person, a past version of yourself or a sense of what is ‘real’ in this world, this place is for you.
Why I Started This
Welcome to the first issue of FromAshes, a space I’ve created for those of us navigating the long and often lonely road of grief. My name is Stephanie. I’m not a therapist or a grief counselor - I’m someone who has lived through and am surviving deep losses and trauma. I lost my father, brother and my long term partner - each at different time periods, each in ways that has significantly reshaped my thinking about life and how I live. In the period between the loss of my father and brother, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer (early stage). Her cancer diagnosis within 7 years of my father passing of cancer dealt a tremendous blow to my emotional well being. Therapy was not prevalent or discussed in the early 2000s and there was no one around my age at the time who had gone through something similar. I found some solace in self help books as well as immersing myself in social distractions. After my mother recovered from treatment and went into remission, 12 years later my brother passed suddenly from a stroke at age 42. Having my partner support me at the time through this loss was critical. She was like sunshine - her spirit embodied positivity, often lifting me out of some very dark thoughts. Losing her to cancer several years after my brother passed was immensely painful and quite literally crushed me. Her death felt and still feels like I lost half of myself. It has been 2 years now since she passed, enough time for me to be able to reflect on her death with a little bit of lightness.
Losing a father impacts differently than losing a brother as it is different from losing a long term partner. While processing each individual loss, I felt a strong pull towards a belief that there was meaning and lessons for me, even if I did not know what these lessons were at the time. When I came across the quote below, I instinctually knew it was the first step towards trusting my belief that there was a greater and higher meaning to these losses. It resonated so deeply with the first loss of my father when I was 23 and it carried me through my other losses and challenges in life.
Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of equal or greater benefit.
-Napolean Hill
This quote and the book “Feel the Fear…and Do It Anyway” by Susan Jeffers defined the way I wanted to live my life going forwards after my father passed. Having experienced what I thought at the time was the scariest thing that could happen to me, I felt reborn in the way that I viewed life. My perspective shifted with an entirely new outlook and what it meant to ‘live.’ Previous to this, the concept of death seemed foreign and often abstract. But watching someone you love suffer and literally seeing them exhale their last breath changes your thoughts on the notion of time and how you want to spend it. I was also so repulsed by the fear that I felt throughout that time period and was personally committed to never experience that type of suffocating fear ever again. I carried this sentiment with me while navigating the deaths of my brother and my partner. I strived hard to replace some if not all of the feelings of fear with hope, acceptance and patience - understanding that all of us will pass on. But I am only human after all, so to say that I felt absolutely no fear towards the impending deaths of my brother and my partner would be a lie. But through the intentional practice of actively expressing compassion, empathy and love to those who pass first helped soften the fear that normally would have engulfed me. All of this were lessons - every act, every thought and every physical act that I took to overcome my feeling of fear taught me how to live and to thrive.
Ultimately, I learned that grief isn’t something you get over, but something that you move with. Some days it’s heavy silence and flashbacks to pain and suffering. Other days it’s a strange, unexpected softness. And sometimes, it’s both. Each loss made me discover something new about myself and how I wanted to navigate life.
Love and Loss in a Changing World
During my grieving process while fluctuating between the two states of heavy pain and softness, the world continued to move forwards at increasingly faster speeds - new technology and tools such as AI became prevalent, promising to make life easier, more efficient more…everything. It’s like the world was trying to speed up my healing - feel better faster, it kept telling me. But for a long time, all I wanted to do was to sit with my sadness, finding solace in stillness and nature.
I want this newsletter to reconcile these two realities. One where new tools and technology can in fact support and enable healthy healing and not impose a sense of speed and urgency to the process. A balance of stillness and solace while using available technology to help relieve isolation and loneliness. This type of support could have benefited me when there was no one around who I could connect with. I hope that this newsletter can be part journal, part resource, part shared experiences. Each week I’ll write about different aspects of grief, healing and how it has evolved with the advent of AI support tools and other modern technologies. I’ll also share things that have helped me through my grief and stories from others who have walked this road.
What to Expect Each Week
Personal Reflections on loss, healing and impact of current modern technological supplements on the grief process.
Resources: Books, podcasts, articles and other practices to navigate grief.
Letters from readers (optional based on how the readership grows!)
Closing Thought: Inspirational thoughts and quotes.
Closing Thought
I believe that even in the aftermath of destruction, there’s a chance to create something meaningful. Maybe not immediately. Maybe not beautifully. But slowly. Tenderly. From ashes, we can build again - not in spite of our grief, but with it.
Thank you for being here. Thank you for reading. If you’re grieving, I see you. If you love someone who’s grieving, thank you for trying to understand.
If this letter resonates with you, consider subscribing or sharing it with someone who might need it.
I would also love to hear from you - feel free to reply to this email.